Breastfeeding Hurts. Is That Normal?

You were told breastfeeding might feel uncomfortable at first. Maybe you expected some soreness. But now you’re sitting down for another feeding and thinking, “Is this really supposed to hurt this much?” This is one of the most common questions I hear from new parents.

The answer is a little more complicated than yes or no. Some tenderness can happen when you and your baby are learning to breastfeed. But significant pain, pain that continues throughout the feeding, or nipples that are becoming damaged are signs that something may need a closer look. You should not have to convince yourself that you just need to “tough it out.”

Some tenderness can be normal in the beginning

Your nipples are being used in a completely new way, sometimes every couple of hours around the clock. It is not unusual for them to feel sensitive during the first few days. You may notice some pulling or tugging when your baby first latches, and that sensation should usually improve as the feeding continues.

What we don’t want to see is pain that makes you tense up every time your baby latches, pain that continues throughout the entire feeding, or pain that gets worse with each feeding. If you are starting to dread feeding because you know it is going to hurt, that is worth paying attention to.

Pain is often a clue that something isn’t quite working

One of the most common reasons breastfeeding hurts is that your baby is not getting a deep or effective latch. When your baby is well positioned and taking in enough breast tissue, the pressure on your nipple should be much more comfortable. If your baby is mostly pulling on the nipple, you may feel pinching, rubbing, or sharp pain. You may also notice that your nipple looks flattened, creased, or misshapen when your baby comes off the breast.

But latch is not always the whole story. A baby’s ability to latch and transfer milk depends on more than where their mouth is placed. Positioning, oral function, body tension, the shape of your breast, your baby’s feeding skills, and milk flow can all affect what happens during a feeding.

Sometimes a baby looks like they have a good latch from the outside, but breastfeeding is still painful or inefficient. That is why watching an actual feeding can tell us much more than simply looking at a picture of a latch.

What if your baby is gaining weight?

This is an important one. A baby can gain weight appropriately and breastfeeding can still be painful.

Weight gain tells us something important about whether your baby is getting enough milk over time. But it does not tell us whether breastfeeding is comfortable, sustainable, or working well for you. You should not have to choose between a baby who is growing and a feeding experience that doesn’t hurt.

What about nipple damage?

If your nipples are cracked, bleeding, blistered, or becoming increasingly sore, this needs attention. Nipple damage can make every feeding more painful, which can make it harder to relax and position your baby comfortably. Pain can also make you dread the next feeding, especially when you know you will have to do it again in a couple of hours.

The answer is not always a different nipple cream. If the same thing keeps happening every time your baby feeds, it is worth figuring out why your nipple is being damaged in the first place.

What if breastfeeding suddenly starts hurting?

Sometimes breastfeeding is comfortable for several weeks and then suddenly becomes painful.

Your baby’s feeding patterns change as they grow. Their mouth and body change. Your milk supply and feeding routine can change. You may also develop nipple irritation, inflammation, or other problems that need attention. A change in pain does not automatically mean something serious is happening, but it is a reason to look at what has changed.

You don’t have to wait until you’re desperate

One of the biggest mistakes I see is parents waiting until breastfeeding has become almost unbearable before asking for help. They think they need to give it more time. They think everyone told them breastfeeding would hurt. They think their baby is gaining weight, so they should just keep going.

But getting help early can make a huge difference. Sometimes the solution is a simple positioning adjustment. Sometimes we need to look more closely at your baby’s oral function or milk transfer. Sometimes there are other factors involved.

The important thing is figuring out what is actually causing the pain instead of simply trying to manage the pain forever.

What can you do right now?

If breastfeeding is uncomfortable, start by paying attention to what happens when your baby latches. Does the pain improve after the first few sucks, or does it continue throughout the feeding? Can you hear your baby swallowing? Does your nipple look normal (rounded, wet) when your baby comes off? Is your baby able to stay deeply latched?

If the pain is significant, your nipples are becoming damaged, or you are dreading every feeding, it is reasonable to ask for help. You do not need to wait until you are ready to quit breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding shouldn’t require you to suffer

There is a difference between learning something new and being in pain every time you do it. Breastfeeding takes practice, and you and your baby are learning each other. There can absolutely be an adjustment period.

You don’t have to spend the next few weeks wondering whether it will eventually get better. You can have someone look at what is happening during an actual feeding and help you understand why it hurts. Breastfeeding should not require you to suffer just to make it work.

Check out Easier Breastfeeding, my program I designed with my occupational therapist to help make moms’ feeding experiences better, here.