A calm, clear guide for overwhelmed parents who just want feeding to make sense again.
If you’ve ever stared at your baby during a feed and thought,
“Why isn’t this working? What am I missing?”
— you are not alone.
Most parents come to us believing their feeding issue is one thing… and nearly every time, the real root is something deeper, quieter, and surprisingly fixable.
This isn’t about parents being wrong.
It’s about feeding being complex — far more complex than the internet makes it seem.
Today, let’s walk through the most common misunderstandings we see, and what’s actually happening underneath.
Misunderstanding #1: “My supply must be low.”
When parents notice shorter feeds, fussing, or distracted nursing, the first place their mind goes is:
“There must be something wrong with my milk.”
But most of the time, the issue has nothing to do with supply.
What’s actually going on:
- Your baby is overstimulated
- They’re having trouble coordinating suck–swallow–breathe
- They’re hitting a developmental leap
- They’re responding to tension in their neck, jaw, or body
- They’re distracted by… well, everything (especially in December)
Milk supply rarely changes overnight.
Babies, however, change constantly.
Misunderstanding #2: “Baby is refusing the breast because they prefer the bottle.”
This is one of the most painful myths to sit with.
What’s actually going on:
Bottle “preference” is almost always a symptom — not a personality trait.
Baby may be:
- fatigued from working hard at the breast
- struggling with flow coordination
- experiencing tension in their mouth or body
- trying to tell you something feels off
- overwhelmed by their environment
- hungry and frustrated (not picky!)
Breast refusal is communication — not rejection.
Misunderstanding #3: “We just need a different bottle.”
So many families cycle through bottle after bottle, waiting for the magic one.
What’s actually going on:
If feeding feels hard, no bottle on earth can fix the root cause.
The shape of the nipple helps… but only if:
- baby’s oral motor skills are supporting feeding
- the flow matches baby’s needs
- positioning allows for stability
- baby’s body isn’t compensating for tension or discomfort
Feeding challenges are rarely solved by buying something —
they’re solved by understanding something.
Misunderstanding #4: “I just need to try harder.”
Parents come to us exhausted, guilty, and convinced the problem is them.
It never is.
What’s actually going on:
Feeding takes skill, guidance, and support —
and you haven’t been given nearly enough of any of those.
You don’t need to try harder.
You just need someone who can see the root of the problem.
That’s where we come in.
Here’s the truth no one tells you:
The problem you see
is usually not the problem we treat.
Feeding improves when we zoom out —
when we look at body tension, oral skills, environment, flow, positioning, and you.
One thoughtful evaluation can reveal what’s actually going on…
and give you a plan that makes feeding feel calm again.
If something feels off, trust that feeling.
You know your baby better than anyone.
Need help getting clarity?
We offer in-office, in-home, and virtual feeding evaluations that get to the heart of the problem — quickly and compassionately.
Book your visit at www.kentuckybreastfeedingcenter.com
You don’t have to figure this out alone.